Someone asked me ‘what do you do when you are not working?’ the other day and it took me by surprise. On reflection I am interested in two aspects of this, the fact that the question took me by surprise and the instant response I gave to the question.

Surprise

Not many people ask me this question they are likely to ask ‘what do you do?’ meaning what work do you do. Often people are defined by their work roles rather than their interests in life. Following this line of thought my surprise was that I was at work in my work role and someone was interested in me as a person rather than the role I was in. My surprise was also that I had to think hard about the answer.

My response

I responded with what I normally ‘do ‘ at weekends which is to spend time with my family, this is something I love to do but not who I consider myself to be. This came later when I said ‘I dance’.

What I didn’t say was I appreciate flowers, I listen to what children say, I write, I read, I stretch, I recharge, I laugh, I rest, I swim. These are the things I like to do when I am not working.

Our motivation to do or say anything comes from a place of love or fear. When you are noticing behaviour or words ask yourself what is the possible source – love or fear. When I have experienced negativity before and remembered to ask myself  ‘is this coming from love or fear’ I realise that negativity often comes from fear. Knowing this I have more understanding of how the other person feels, I can then reassure them and myself that there is nothing to fear. When someone communicates with you from a place of love there is no resistance or barriers, there is trust that you are ok.

Do you treat yourself with love or fear?