So Much More Than Self Care

Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.

Shannon L. Alder

In Project You self care course we explore our self care habits, sleep, hydration, eating well, exercise, rest & relaxation. And yet this course is not just about how you treat your body, it is much more than this. We explore our beliefs about each aspect of self care, and fundamentally our beliefs about self care. 

What stops you increasing your self care? 

Lack of time

Work commitments 

Caring responsibilities



Low self worth 

In week one we explore these barriers and learn more about boundaries and setting intentions. In the following weeks we explore ‘people pleasing’ and stepping into our own power. Each week the importance of self care becomes more evident. 

I have been practicing self care for 37 years. A period of depression taught me  to shift my focus from a total focus on others needs to a clearer view of my own needs and how I could meet them. With practice and determination I crashed through the barriers of being told I was ‘selfish’ and began to manage my feelings of guilt. I didn’t have the awareness and conviction that I have now, so these lessons were hard and I travelled alone. Fortunately, I persisted (number 6 strength) and the journey towards empowerment became easier. 

Ten years ago I collated my experiences of personal development into an E book – Life’s Gifts. 

While the whole book shares reflection and tips for personal growth, the chapters that are particularly relevant to self care are, Personal Power, Positivity, Comfort, Challenge, Choice, Health, and Limits.  

This is the Limits chapter, 


Know your limits. The way that you treat yourself sets the standard for how others treat you.  If you don’t know your limits how will others know what they are? Your personal limits are the boundaries of acceptable behaviour, which you set for yourself and others.  How you behave towards yourself and others will result in you feeling good or bad.

When you feel good you are behaving within your desired code of conduct, your personal limits, when you feel bad you are behaving outside of this code.

You police your own behaviour.  When you are adhering to your code your inner policeman is relaxed and at ease.  As soon as you behave outside of that code he is on duty with handcuffs at the ready.  Later you may be taken to high court for judgment and sentencing.  Your internal policeman is following orders, with the intention to ensure that your behaviour is acceptable.  Where do those orders originate?  Are these orders from you in the here and now? or from others in the past?

Now is the time for you to evaluate your limits, your code of conduct.  Is your inner policeman working for you or against you?  If you find yourself constantly in court it is likely that the orders belong in the past. Assess the orders that your internal policeman is holding you accountable for and update them. Change the role from inner policeman to internal bodyguard. A bodyguard is someone who is following your orders; one who has your own best interests, safety and protection as a priority. Live to the code of conduct that you have set in the here and now.

When did you last give yourself permission to behave differently?

Are you stuck in a role that others have given you?

Raise awareness of your own behaviour, your habits and beliefs to empower yourself to be the best version of your self. Invest in Project You.

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