The Game of Life

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 ‘Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one  you had before’
                                               

Elizabeth Edwards

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. If life is a game then snakes and ladders is the one played most often.  The snakes represent times of crisis and the ladders are times of opportunity.  You can be moving through life quite easily and then suddenly you are in a crisis situation, sliding down a snake. Sliding down a snake can feel like your world is crashing down around you. You travel down, down and then even further down before seeing a ladder in front of you.

The ladder depicts times of opportunity and chance. Moving up the ladder can be exhilarating; it can be an exciting experience. These are the periods of celebration and success, which are an opportunity to build resilience. This is achieved by making deposits of faith and hope, which cushion the disappointment of sliding down the next snake.

Resilience is picking yourself up from an experience and continuing on your way. Resilience is a protective factor. It is accepting that there are both snakes and ladders in life and that you can take them in your stride. Resilience is stepping back from the game and seeing that there is both crisis and opportunity as we move through life. Resilience is knowing;

‘I can handle it’

What is likely to send you down a snake?

How can you manage this differently?

What do you need to get back on track?

What is likely to move you up the ladder?

How are you celebrating being on the ladder?

‘Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.’

Gever Tulley

A Clear Vision

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 ‘Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart Carl Jung

Look back and learn, look forward and achieve. Vision is purpose. Vision is the fully created image on the jigsaw box. The jigsaw pieces are the steps that take you there.  Vision is your destination; it is where you are headed. Vision is how you want your life to be.

Vision is a creation of images, a statement of intention, the road ahead; it is your chosen path. Vision is letting go of the past and the present.  It is taking a leap of faith and exploring your future.

The vision you create for yourself is up to you. The tools are in your hands.  Given your attention your vision will evolve over time. It is full of possibility and opportunity. Visualisation is seeing with your mind, it is a skill that can be learnt. If memory is an old film, visualisation is a trailer for a new release.

Visualisation is mental rehearsal, it is a conveyor belt displaying the options available to you. The choice is yours. What will you add to your vision. Be bold, be visionary. Capture your vision in the best way for you, writing, talking, or with pictures. Tell others your vision, describe it in as much detail as you can, make it real.

Nothing is written in stone. Your vision is yours to play with, have fun with it.

My vision is …………………………………….

I see myself………………………………………..

I see others…………………………………………..

                        ‘The best vision is insight’ Malcolm Forbes

Cherish Every Moment

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‘As you breathe in cherish yourself, as you breathe out cherish all beings’  Dalai Lama Xiv

To cherish is to treat gently, with warmth and understanding.  It is to marinade in love and to enjoy the pleasure this brings.  It is the holding kiss, cupped hands and tender touch.

Cherish others, cherish yourself.                

Appreciate what you have and who you are.  Cherish is a melting moment; something that warms you from inside and glows for all to see. Soak yourself in warm melting moments and give them out to others.  Value everything about your life and appreciate that everything has value. Cherish what others give to you, with appreciation and respect.

Cherish is liking what you have.

Cherish says ‘ I want the very best for you’ and ‘You are worth it’.  Cherish is a grown up nurture; I nurture my children, I cherish you. Being cherished is like being given a golden ticket to trust, confidence and self belief. 

Cherishing others is standing at the ticket booth, handing out that ticket. It is a passport to fulfilling relationships.

You deserve to be cherished.

Does what you receive from others;

  • Sound like love?
  • Look like love?
  • Feel like love?

Does what you give to yourself?  

  • Sound like love?
  • Look like love?
  • Feel like love?

                                           Cherish the love.              

Creativity is Visionary

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Creativity is open, no holds barred, unrestricted. It thrives in variety, imagination and inspiration. Creativity is visionary – it forms an image in your head and gently manipulates it until it can be seen in the physical world.

You cannot put creativity in a box. It is outside of the box, thinking of ways to make a difference, improve a situation, or make a statement.

When logic says ‘No’ Creativity says ‘why not? Lets find a way’

Creativity is a colouring pencil. It has the potential to bring colour, depth and meaning to your life. Play, interesting, excited, positive, joy, confidence, energy, fun, vibrant – this is how creativity feels. Borrow these feelings from creativity to inject passion and enthusiasm into your life story.

Find one thing in your life that is evidence of your creativity and build upon it.

                  ‘Life must be lived as play’ Plato.

 

 

Letting go

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‘Some think it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.’  Sylvia Robinson

There is a connection – a bond, a tie, an attachment, an umbilical cord.  Imagine holding onto one end of a rope and another is holding onto the other end of the rope. You both hold on tightly. Wherever one of you goes the other one goes too. Generally you are content, either of you may occasionally be disgruntled but you are comfortable in your attachment.  The other starts to tug at the rope, you pull it back, they pull harder – it is a tug of war. You dig your heels in, they dig their heels in.

“I am powerless – I don’t know what else I can do”

Empower yourself, put the rope down.

You are inviting the conflict in.  Now you are faced with managing your loss, rather than managing the external conflict.

What have you lost? Make a list of all the little losses within the primary loss. You may need a large sheet of paper.

This is life……a multitude of losses and endless beginnings.

                     Breathe, trust, let go.

Time to Celebrate

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‘It is good to have an end to journey toward – but it is the journey that matters in the end.’  Ursula K Leguin

It has been a joy. Like watching one of my favourite films I have been taken on a wonderful journey.  I have laughed and cried, been inspired and showered with wonder.

I am in awe. The joy that comes from taking time to reflect and appreciate fills me up.  This is the perfect end to a party; a cup of tea in hand, sharing the experiences and anecdotes with my loved ones. I am blessed with abundance.

Now that I have chosen to look around my stately home I recognise that I have all I need right here, right now.  I have some space to grow, some empty rooms that invite opportunity, some untidy rooms that reflect creativity and abandonment.  I have one room that is neat and uncluttered and a room in the garden to enjoy.

I am fortunate. I am a play in progress. I have welcomed play back into my life and my spirit is lifted.  Play nourishes me; it cradles my soul and makes me happy.

I love to celebrate.  It is the best reward. The recognition of all that has been and the hope of what is to come.

It has been a pleasure.

Make a splash. Challenge a wave. Embrace a friend.

The Heart of Passion

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                            ‘Passion is the genesis of genius.’  Tony Robbins

Passion is where your heart is. If your head is reason then your heart is passion.  Passion is movement, momentum, it is a force for good.  Allow your passion to guide you towards your hearts desire.

If it was up to me I would…………….What would you do?

It is up to you.

Remove the barriers that hold your passion back and reveal the real you.

Passion is like being in love, it is all consuming, it takes you over.  Dig deep into your soul and discover what will move you out of bed, out of your head, look for something that will enrich your life and pour your heart into it.

This is your passion.

If it was up to me I would;

  1. ………………………………………
  2. ……………………………………….
  3. ……………………………………….

 Passion is oxygen of the soul

 

A Soft Place to Land

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  ‘Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.’

  Hippocrates.

Comfort is a soft place.  It is being held by someone you trust, with their arms, their empathy or their gaze.  Comfort is being understood and cared for.  It is curling up on a large sofa surrounded by cushions.  Comfort is a healing touch.  It soothes and caresses the physical body which calms the emotions.

Comfort is the pit stop of life; a place of recovery and repair.  Without comfort we walk through our life overloaded with baggage.  We stuff or rucksacks full of grief and collect bags of worry and guilt along the way.

A soft place allows us to lay down; to rest our bodies and lay down our burdens.  Identify your soft place.  It may be a person, a room, a chair, a bed.  You will recognise your soft place when you feel the tension release from your body. When your breathing is calm and even and when a feeling of well being spreads through you.

Being in your soft place is like coming home, connecting to your self.

Value your soft place and introduce more of them into your life.

Using your soft place is a reminder that you care for your self.

Let your self know that you are comfort–able.

My favourite soft place is ……………………………………………

Other soft places I could use are ………………………………..

  Everyone needs a soft place

Get Inspired to take action

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The new year is the time when we are likely to think about making some changes. It is a time when we can use other peoples desire for change to propel us forward. When we use others to inspire us to make those changes it feel like we are in it together and not alone on our quest. I hope my thoughts about inspiration will inspire you to take action.

‘The Golden Venture’ https://instarcoaching.com/the-golden-venture-e-book,


  ‘It’s not where you take things from, it’s where you take them to’ Jean-Luc Godard 


Get inspired.  Inspiration is a volcanic explosion of desires, wonder and possibilities.  Harness this power and energy to move you into action.  Inspiration is a stepping stone; it is anything that moves you towards your ideal.

Align yourself with positive influences.  Gravitate towards people you admire, places that you love and things that make you feel good.
Be inspired. Notice the details. What do you like and admire about that person? what is it about this place that you love? how does this thing make you feel good? 

Inspiration is the light bulb moment when a surge of power transmits through two elements and joins them together.  It is seeing things in a different way, realising that there is a way through; a closed door, an overgrown path, an uphill climb.

If you can do it, then so can I.  You are an inspiration.    

      
Write the names of 3 people who inspire you …..

What are the qualities that you admire?……..

Write the name of 3 places that inspire you…….

What do these places provide for you?………..

Write the name of 3 things that inspire you?………

What do these things give to you?……….


  ‘Ideas come from everything’ Alfred Hitchcock










A Different Christmas

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Our experience of Christmas can be a time of happiness or suffering. It is an event that we all ‘do’ at the same time and yet we all do it differently. As families come together one of the deciding factors of our experience may be how well we can accept difference.

Here are my reflections on difference; an excerpt from ‘The Golden Venture’ https://instarcoaching.com/the-golden-venture-e-book.

To be different is to challenge our fundamental need to belong.  To notice difference and not be afraid of it is courageous.  To accept difference is to acknowledge that your way is the right way – for you – not for everybody else. 

What do you bring to the party?  Whatever you bring it is unique and valuable; one part of the whole feast.

Resistance to difference brings conflict while opening ourselves up to difference creates synergy.  Synergy confronts our fear of isolation and affirms that we can be different and  belong.

Work with difference to find a creative way forward. Explore the opportunities it provides to try something new.  In essence, difference gives birth to new ideas – lay down your fear and embrace difference in all its glory.

‘Heart is what makes a difference’ Jerry Sloan.